I watched a great video clip on Facebook recently. It was about some rescued ducks that had never seen more than drinking water before in their lives. They were ok. Well fed, warm, safe and getting on with their lives. Totally unaware of any other way of being or indeed that anything was missing from their lives at all. They were all grown up, and the rescuers attempted to get them into a lake. It was such a wonderful yet sad sight to see.
The ducks were escaping from the rescuers over and over again, avoiding the lake, feeling frightened and out of their comfort zone. Probably, viewing their rescuers as the enemy. After a lot of feather flapping and quacking, one by one the ducks plonked into the water. Some got right back out and ran off again. But some were like ‘A duck to water.’ Soon they were all in the water, ducking, and diving and bobbing along. Embracing their new environment and celebrating their new sense of self.
The ducks instinctively knew what to do, even the ones that got back out, swam out. If the rescuers could have talked to them and instructed them what to do, I bet only a few would have listened and decided to give it go, if any at all. But, without a shadow of a doubt, I would bet that not one duck would choose to go back to their old life.
Knowing you are unhappy is one thing but knowing why and what to do about it, is an entirely different matter.
We only understand from experience and the facts taught to us. If you don’t know any different, if you have nothing to compare to, then of course you will not be aware of the problem let alone the solutions. You probably won’t even question your situation, and are likely to just accept it as ‘normal.’ However, I think we do know at some unconscious level that we are not happy and somewhere within us, we all know when something isn’t ringing true, but without any contradictory evidence, it will remain just a weird sense of incompleteness.
Our immediate environment (home, work, community…) shapes who we are and tells us what is expected of us. We end up fitting around others expectations, needs and think that their beliefs are ours and feel a failure if we do not meet them. Part of the coaching process is to help you understand your situation, what is missing and what you want to feel complete and happy in life. But also part of my job is to show you the ‘water’ and tell you about all the ducks that live happily there.
Call if you want to talk through how you are feeling right now with a qualified counsellor and explore what changes will help you feel comfortable in your own skin.