Counselling in Dorset – A Space to Work at Your Pace

Welcome to Pensieve.

I’m Nicky.

Pensieve is inspired by Dumbledore’s Pensieve in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series—a magical tool he uses to reflect on memories and gain insight.  Here, it becomes a space to explore your thoughts, gain clarity, and grow.

I hope to answer some questions you may have through my website, but if not, please feel free to reach out, and I’ll do my best to help.

I’m a person-centred counsellor based in Dorset, working with teenagers (13+) and adults. I run my own private practice and receive referrals from Anxiety UK.

I am trauma-informed with a focus on neuroscience, the nervous system, parts work, Focusing and relational patterns.

Noticing the sensations in your body in the present moment is a key part of my work. It can help you start to separate your thoughts, emotions, and physical responses, making them feel more manageable. I often use metaphors, visualisations, and imaginative exercises in my work, drawing on stories, TV shows, or pop culture to make points relatable.

You might hear references from Doctor Who, Stranger Things, Big Bang Theory, and other examples. These can help explore complex ideas in ways that are safe for your nervous system and easier to understand.

Even if you feel numb, shut down, or disconnected from your emotions, this is a normal protective response and it doesn’t mean therapy won’t help.

Together, we can work at a pace your nervous system can tolerate, making space for your experiences safely.

Counsellor, Life & Health Coach and Supervisor

Nicky x

However, this is your space, and the way we work together should feel safe, supportive, and accessible for you.

So if you are more visual or creative, you may prefer a different style.

For some, this way of working is natural, but to others it can feel unusual or even alien at first. That’s completely normal. Using creativity, metaphor, and imagery is a very effective way of working with your nervous system, especially concerning anxiety, depression,  PTSD and toxic relationships, to conceptualise the complexity of our experiences, contain and separate them from one another and reconnect emotions and thoughts, helping you process experiences without feeling overwhelmed or triggered. Over time, many clients find it helps them make sense of difficult feelings and understand themselves in a new, accessible way.

I encourage you to bring your own references or creative ideas if it feels natural, because your imagination and personal interests are powerful tools in therapy.

You may find that you naturally connect your work, hobbies, films, gaming, books or passions to what we explore in sessions. For example:

Gamers relate to characters and scenes.

An architect might relate feelings or relationships to structural designs or foundations.

A cook might use recipes or ingredients as metaphors for combining different parts of yourself or managing emotions.

A gardener might think about emotions like plants, noticing what’s thriving, what needs attention, or what conditions allow growth.

You may love music and relate to specific lyrics, songs, or orchestral pieces, finding ways to express or understand your feelings through sound.

This blends well with Life and Health Coaching too, but if this style isn’t for you, don’t worry, my point is that I adapt to your style and what works best for you. This approach works well for both adults and teenagers.

We all develop ways of connecting and relating to others in early life through relationships, difficult experiences, bullying, or physical and emotional abuse. These early experiences can shape how safe we feel with others and how we expect to be treated.

The physical and emotional impact of this can stay with us, sometimes showing up as strong reactions in certain relationships or situations, even when we don’t fully understand why.

Over time, many of us move away from our more authentic self  – the part of us that feels natural, open, and at ease. Instead, we may adapt to cope or to feel accepted. For example, you might find yourself people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, becoming overly independent, or feeling anxious about closeness or distance in relationships.

These patterns are often linked to the ways we learned to attach and relate to others early on. Some people find themselves needing reassurance or fearing abandonment, while others may keep emotional distance or struggle to rely on others. Many people notice a mix of both at different times.

Along the way, we may begin to suppress or avoid certain emotions, or at times feel overwhelmed by them. We might show only the parts of ourselves that feel acceptable to others. Some people blame themselves for how they feel, while others feel frustrated with themselves or those around them.

These are natural responses – ways your mind and nervous system have learned to keep you safe.

These patterns can also influence your day-to-day experiences and how you cope with stress, manage emotions, relate to others, or compartmentalise (or struggle to compartmentalise) different parts of your life.

Anxiety, Stress, Depression, PTSD, Relationships, Bereavement and Life Choices

For various reasons, your nervous system can get “stuck” in fight/flight/freeze responses, which can affect your body as well as your mind, so extra support can help.

Many people cope with stress or strong emotions by pushing feelings away, ignoring them, or trying to control them, which can actually make the body feel more tense or anxious over time.

When I talk about working with your nervous system, I mean noticing what your body and mind are doing right now and supporting them to regulate naturally. This isn’t about forcing emotions or trying to “fix” yourself. It’s about:

• Recognising your body’s signals (racing heart, tight chest, tense muscles)
• Allowing yourself to feel and acknowledge emotions safely
• Noticing whether these feelings relate to the present moment and, if not, gently exploring possible causes, without pressure to have answers
• Helping your system gradually shift to calm, when it’s safe to do so

By doing this, you can start to feel more flexible, balanced, and in control, even in stressful situations or at least return to calm as quickly as your system allows.

Behind the scenes, your brain is slowly building a new ‘instruction manual’ – reorganising information, categorising experiences, and archiving what’s no longer needed. It forms or reactivates neural pathways that help you regulate more easily. Some changes happen quickly, while others take patience, depending on the level of stress in daily life and past experiences. Your body gradually learns to move from alertness, overwhelm, or shutdown back to calm.

Some people need only a few sessions, while others benefit from longer-term support, for various reasons including differing stress thresholds, attachment styles, number of intense events experienced and current daily life stressors.

In therapy, the focus isn’t on blame. Instead, it’s about noticing your different parts with curiosity and compassion.

Inside all of us are different “parts”. Some parts carry pain, some that protect us, and some that hold our strengths. These parts, including emotions and beliefs, can sometimes conflict, layer over, support, or even contradict each other, which can make our thoughts and feelings feel confusing or blocked.

Have you ever wanted to buy some biscuits, for example? One part of you might want to buy them, another part might worry about spending the money, and another part might feel fed up or stuck because they can’t agree. You might also notice a part that isn’t sure which biscuits to choose, while another encourages you to say, “Go on, treat yourself, you’ve worked hard.”The Inside Out Disney films are a great way to understand this. They show how our emotions can work together and how we can learn to ignore or avoid certain aspects of ourselves, whether positive or negative.

In truth, we need to understand all our emotions, as they guide us when they work as a team to keep us safe and happy. By safely connecting, you can begin to:

Understand why certain emotions or reactions arise

Separate past experiences from your present moment

Respond to yourself with care, rather than judgment

We gently explore different aspects of yourself – what it’s protecting, its fears, why it’s frustrated or aligned with other parts. This can help you understand your emotions more clearly and respond to experiences in a compassionate, supportive way.

Recognising these patterns and the different parts of you that have developed over time can begin to bring a deeper understanding of yourself. You might notice different parts holding certain thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations, and the ways your nervous system responds in certain situations or relationships. As this awareness grows, it can become easier to gently pause and begin responding from a place that feels more grounded and authentic, rather than reacting automatically from these patterns.

Counselling offers a space to explore these parts and reconnect with your authentic self, at a pace that feels right for you. From there, it can become easier to make sense of your reactions, communicate more openly, and express your needs more clearly.

Over time, this can support you in responding to yourself and others with greater understanding and compassion, and in finding ways of coping and relating that feel safer, more manageable, and more like you.

Teens who may be struggling with anxiety, low mood, identity, relationships, or feeling overwhelmed can often find it awkward, especially when talking to an adult.

There is no need to filter or dress things up with me – saying it how it is is the best way, always.  I have no agenda other than to listen and offer support.

Confidentiality is a crucial part of counselling and helps young people feel safe enough to open up. I don’t share what’s discussed in sessions unless they ask me to. If there are concerns about their safety, I would talk this through with them.