Counselling in Dorset – A Space to Work at Your Pace

Welcome to Pensieve.

I’m Nicky. I hope to answer some questions you may have through my website, but if not, please feel free to reach out — I’ll do my best to help.

I’m a person-centred counsellor based in Dorset, working with teenagers (13+) and adults. I run my own private practice and receive referrals from Anxiety UK.

I am trauma-informed with experience in neuroscience, the nervous system, parts work, Focusing and relational patterns.

Noticing the sensations in your body in the present moment is a key part of my work. It can help you start to separate your thoughts, emotions, and physical responses, making them feel more manageable. I often use metaphors, visualisations, and imaginative exercises in my work, drawing on stories, TV shows, or pop culture to make points relatable

You might hear references from Doctor Who, Stranger Things, Big Bang Theory, and other examples. These can help explore complex ideas in ways that are safe for your nervous system and easier to understand.

Even if you feel numb, shut down, or disconnected from your emotions, this is a normal protective response — it doesn’t mean therapy won’t help.

Together, we can work at a pace your nervous system can tolerate, making space for your experiences safely.

Counsellor, Life & Health Coach and Supervisor

Nicky x

However, this is your space, and the way we work together should feel safe, supportive, and accessible for you.

So if you are more visual or creative, you may prefer a different style.

For some, this way of working is natural, but to others it can feel unusual or even alien at first. That’s completely normal. Using creativity, metaphor, and imagery is a very effective way of working with your nervous system, especially concerning anxiety, depression,  PTSD and toxic relationships, to conceptualise the complexity of our experiences, contain and separate them from one another and reconnect emotions and thoughts, helping you process experiences without feeling overwhelmed or triggered. Over time, many clients find it helps them make sense of difficult feelings and understand themselves in a new, accessible way.

I encourage you to bring your own references or creative ideas if it feels natural — your imagination and personal interests are powerful tools in therapy.

You may find that you naturally connect your work, hobbies, films, gaming, books or passions to what we explore in sessions. For example:

Gamers relate to characters and scenes.

An architect might relate feelings or relationships to structural designs or foundations.

A cook might use recipes or ingredients as metaphors for combining different parts of yourself or managing emotions.

A gardener might think about emotions like plants, noticing what’s thriving, what needs attention, or what conditions allow growth.

You may love music and relate to specific lyrics, songs, or orchestral pieces, finding ways to express or understand your feelings through sound.

This blends well with Life and Health Coaching too, but if this style isn’t for you, don’t worry — my point is that I adapt to your style and what works best for you. This approach works well for both adults and teenagers.

Anxiety, Stress, Depression, PTSD, Relationships, Bereavement and Life Choices

For various reasons, your nervous system can get “stuck” in fight/flight/freeze responses, which may impact your physical health, too, so you may need some extra care.

Many cope with stress or emotions by pushing feelings away, ignoring them, or trying to control them, which can actually make your body feel more tense or anxious over time.

When I talk about working with your nervous system, I mean noticing what your body and mind are doing right now and supporting them to regulate naturally. This isn’t about forcing your emotions or trying to “fix” yourself. It’s about:

• Recognising your body’s signals (racing heart, tight chest, tense muscles)
• Allowing yourself to feel and acknowledge emotions safely
• Noticing whether they are relevant to the moment, and if not, exploring what may be the cause (don’t worry if you don’t know).
• Helping your system gradually shift from heightened alert to calm, when it’s safe to do so

By doing this, you can start to feel more flexible, balanced, and in control, even in stressful situations or at least return to calm as soon as you can.

**Our nervous system can take time to adjust. Behind the scenes, the brain is slowly building a new ‘instruction manual’ — reorganising information, categorising experiences, and archiving what’s no longer needed. It forms or reactivates neural pathways that help you regulate more easily. Some changes happen quickly, while others need patience (depending on the level of stress in your current daily life and how many or how intense past experiences have affected you) as your body gradually learns to move from alertness, overwhelm or shutdown back to calm. You may only need a few sessions (typically 6-20) or may need longer-term support. 

We all develop ways of connecting and relating to others in early life, trauma, toxic relationships, bullying, and physical and emotional abuse.  The physical and emotional effects can sometimes cause strong emotional reactions in certain relationships or situations. By noticing these patterns, we can explore why you feel the way you do and find ways to respond that feel safe and empowering.

Along the way, many of us notice that we’ve learned to suppress or avoid certain emotions, or are overwhelmed by them. Learning only to show parts of ourselves that we believe are acceptable to others. Some people blame themselves for how they feel, while others may feel frustrated with themselves or those around them. These natural responses – ways your nervous system and mind have been keeping you safe.

In therapy, the focus isn’t on blame. Instead, it’s about noticing your different parts with curiosity and compassion. Inside all of us are different “parts”. Some parts carry pain, some that protect us, and some that hold our strengths. These parts, including emotions and beliefs, can sometimes conflict, layer over, support, or even contradict each other, which can make our thoughts and feelings feel confusing or blocked.

Have you ever wanted to buy some biscuits, for example? One part of you might want to buy them, another part might worry about spending the money, and another part might feel fed up or stuck because they can’t agree. You might also notice a part that isn’t sure which biscuits to choose, while another encourages you to say, “Go on, treat yourself—you’ve worked hard.”

The Inside Out Disney films are a great way to understand this. They show how our emotions can work together and how we can learn to ignore or avoid certain aspects of ourselves, whether positive or negative.

In truth, we need to understand all our emotions, as they guide us when they work as a team to keep us safe and happy. By safely connecting you can begin to:

 Understand why certain emotions or reactions arise

Separate past experiences from your present moment

Respond to yourself with care, rather than judgment

We gently explore each aspect of yourself – what it’s protecting, its fears, why it’s frustrated or aligned with other parts. This can help you understand your emotions more clearly and respond to experiences in a compassionate, supportive way.

Teens who may be struggling with anxiety, low mood, identity, relationships, or feeling overwhelmed can often find it awkward, especially when talking to an adult.

There is no need to filter or dress things up with me – saying it how it is is the best way, always.  I have no agenda other than to listen and offer support.

Confidentiality is a crucial part of counselling and helps young people feel safe enough to open up. I don’t share what’s discussed in sessions unless they ask me to. If there are concerns about their safety, I would talk this through with them.